When I was fourteen years old I made the decision to follow Christ. My best friend, Lexi, invited me to El Porvenir Christian Church Camp a few years prior, but this year was different. I wasn't sure how we were going to afford it. I refused to ask my mom to spend that kind of money on me when we were already struggling to pay for groceries.
I tried eating Ramon noddles daily to keep the grocery budget down. How was I going to get to go to camp this year? I remember going into the student building and asking one of the youth pastors if there was a way to go to camp if we just simply couldn't afford it. If you know my personality, you know I don’t give up easily. After explaining my situation, the youth pastor handed me a scholarship application. At 14 years old, I had no idea what a scholarship was, but I learned. I filled out the application he provided me. A few weeks later, my application was accepted and I was able to pack my bags for camp!
I grew up with a mother who always believed in God, we grew up going to church, but there's something different when you truly discover your own faith. It was fifteen years ago and 250 miles away from my home, but I knew I needed something different in my life. My life was a mess and I was down the path of repeating history. It was in my genes to mess up. Apparently, on both sides of my family. With the mental illnesses and addiction that were passed down on both sides, I had no hope. When people ask me today how I turned out to be who I am, I know it was the summer I spent at church camp in 2007 that changed me completely. I was listening carefully to the speaker at El Porvenir Christian Camp that week. The one thing I remember the speaker saying was, "Do you ever feel like you don't have anyone? Did your dad walk out when you were a baby?" (now I don't know if these were his exact words, but it is what MY brain heard). "Then this would be a great time to get closer to Christ because he is ALWAYS there for you no matter what". After the message we all exited the chapel for our quiet time with Christ. I walked up the hill outside of the chapel and sat on a huge rock in the middle of a little trail. In that moment all I could think about was the horrible year I had at school and the thought of my absent dad. I thought since I didn't have a dad, I could talk to God and Jesus as if they were here with me all the time. I would ask them what I am supposed to do next in life. Your dad typically guides you right? Tells you what to do and what not to do? I didn't have that. Even with my mom, I had no discipline. My mom taught me more of what not to do than what to do.
In those 10 minutes of quiet time with Christ, I decided I was going to follow him. I made the decision to choose his way for me and not my own way. I made a promise to him and in my heart I knew he made a promise to me too. He promised to protect me and guide me. My leader Maggie and I had a deep conversation about the Lord and at the end of the week, she baptized me in the freezing cold water on the steps in the pond. Middle school was by far the hardest part of my life. I didn't fit in with anyone. I never understood why the kids were so mean. By the end of my 8th grade year, I decided I wasn't going to High School. At least, not with the kids I had been in school with since 4th grade. I was going to teach myself before I stepped foot back in the same school as them. At the end of my 8th grade year, prior to attending camp, my mom and I took a tour of Ascension Academy. I fell in love with not only the school, but the people there. Deep down I knew we couldn't afford it, but I prayed for a miracle.
When I came home from camp my life changed completely. Christ opened many doors for me. My dad had never been court ordered to pay child support. My mom would not divorce him, because he would automatically have me every other weekend and she was trying to protect me from him. She didn't have the money to fight him, so she just decided not getting a divorce was easier. It was no coincidence that my mom begin to get a child support check from the government that exact summer. It turned out, my dad had been accepted for disability. This meant, he no longer had to work and the government paid per dependent he had. His dependent money for me, went to my mom since I was with her. With this extra money coming in and a scholarship to Ascension Academy, I was able to have a new start my freshman year. Ascension Academy was the first door that was opened for me after making my own personal decision to follow Christ.
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